A Day in the Life

The Backyard Bowel

You know how you can yell at your kids for two hours straight and they won’t hear a word you’re saying, but you can accidentally drop an F-bomb and they’ll repeat that for the rest of their lives? Well, that’s what’s happening in our household right now, but with a different set of words. As you know, B’s first language …

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Camping Catastrophe

Allow me to start this post by saying that I do not like camping. I’ve tried very hard to find some redeeming qualities about it, but the “fresh air” brings bugs, the “family bonding time” results in fighting over whether that sound was the wind or a grizzly bear, and the “saving money” part ultimately ends up costing a fortune …

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Meltdown at the Mall

Remember when you became a parent for the first time? That overwhelming feeling of cluelessness that engulfed you both day and night? That fog you lived in for, I don’t know, two years or so? From those days, are there certain memories that stuck with you? Maybe the first time your child laughed, the first time they slept through the …

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Coyote Convergence

We live near protected wetlands, which has its positives and negatives. On the positive side, we’re surrounded by nature. On the negative side, well, we’re surrounded by nature. And specifically, apparently, by a coyote breeding ground. I was never properly educated on how to deal with wild animals – I grew up in Northern New Jersey, where the closest thing …

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Urinary Uprising

My daughter was never one for sleeping. Up until she was 20 months old, it was standard protocol for her to be awake every three hours, and the notion of “sleeping through the night” was a completely laughable theoretical concept to me. She finally started to get the hang of it around 24 months, and I think she’s been making …

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Toilet Paper Triage

My daughter is pretty observant – a trait that she most definitely gets from her father and not me. And even though she’s not in school yet, COVID-19 has impacted her world in ways I never imagined. Take toilet paper, for instance. From the moment she started potty-training, B had a fascination with toilet paper. At first, we let her …

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Groceries Gone Wild

I can count the number of times we’ve left our house in the past month on one hand, and it’s starting to show. As you may recall from a previous post, we do all of our shopping for groceries online. And since my last post, it has become increasingly difficult to actually accomplish that goal. So when I manage to …

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Tech Secrets for COVID-19 Grocery Delivery

Since my last article on grocery delivery options during COVID-19, the situation has gotten a lot worse. Time slots on Amazon Fresh and Whole Foods have become next-to-impossible to find, and if you’re the fortunate soul who actually DID see one become available, there’s still a good chance you’ll lose it during the checkout process. ** Disclaimer: article may include …

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Flood Fiasco

As you know, we’re currently in the middle of COVID-19. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’re well-aware that we’ve all been given strict social distancing orders and aren’t supposed to leave our house. So naturally, if there’s ever going to be a flood fiasco in our apartment, it would absolutely happen now. Let me walk you through this. …

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Animal Attack

Today, we reached Day 39,830,968 of quarantine thanks to COVID-19. OK, so maybe it hasn’t been quite that long, but it’s certainly felt that way and we’re all pretty much losing our minds over here. In an effort to hold onto the tiny shred of sanity we had left, we decided to actually LEAVE THE HOUSE on Saturday to go …

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The Barbaric Balance Beam

Today, the crazy came out. I’d say I wasn’t proud of it, but the sad truth is that this is just who I am and maybe it takes experiences like this one for me to finally come to terms with it. ** Disclaimer: article may include affiliate links, which do not affect the price you pay. ** In an effort …

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Why Are You Crying?

Once a week, my daughter goes to Italian school. But lately, it’s been an uphill battle even getting her into the car. It wasn’t always like this. We once went to class with a smile on our face, jabbering the whole car ride about all the fun things we would do with our new friends. ** Disclaimer: article may include …

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Italian as a First Language

My daughter’s first language is Italian. You read that correctly. While that might not initially surprise you, let me explain why it should: I was born in New York (not Italy). My husband was born in New Jersey (also not Italy). Both of us exclusively spoke English for most of our lives. So what exactly happened here, and what drugs …

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The Lost Backpack

Today, I reached the pinnacle of mindlessness. It started off like any other day – I decided to bring B to the library by bus. It takes real effort to miss it because this bus stops directly in front of our house, and yet we still had to run after it, waving our arms like air traffic controllers just to …

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