I have been called many words in my life, but “relaxed” was never one of them. To me, anything that even remotely resembles “calm” is cause for alarm, which is probably not ideal when it comes to the whole “parenthood” thing.
I’ve been going out of my way to try to “chill” when asking my daughter about her school day, because I’ve lately started noticing that it’s starting to stress her out too. Part of that attempt involves me not interrogating her on exactly what she did all day.
Today, however, she greeted me with the update that they had gone into the woods for a hike. Sounded like a nice day. Lots of birds, squirrels, rocks, and Canadian geese. Oh, and ticks. Lots of ticks. Ticks everywhere. I hate ticks.
“How fun!” I responded, putting on my “chill” hat. “Let’s remember to do a tick check when we get home!”
“You don’t have to, Mommy,” responded my daughter. “The nurses already did it for all of us at school. They even ran a magic machine over our whole bodies to make doubly sure. It was super tickly on my skin!”
I paused, unsure of what words I was supposed to say to this. While my initial thought was that maybe this absolved ME from having to do one (oh, happy day!), it was only seconds before my brain switched from “chill” mode to “crazy” mode.
How thorough exactly WAS this tick check?
Headlines flashed before my eyes of sick people taking advantage of little kids, and all I wanted to do was make sure that this “tick check” happened with clothes on. But instead, I channeled “Chill Mom” and just let her carry on, talking about this “magic” machine that somehow removed ticks with just a wave.
My concern soon gave way to curiosity, because for all the products I come across in my daily deal-hunting online, I had NEVER heard of a machine that could detect ticks – and it sounded amazing. I made a mental note to go on Amazon later that night to look it up and potentially get one myself.
My excitement, however, was fleeting, because only moments later, we received an email from her teacher, giving us an update on the day. As it turns out, the “magic” machine was…
… a lint roller.
So the moral of today’s story is to stop paying attention to whatever words your child says, because chances are that they’re wrong.